The decision to file for divorce is never easy – and it shouldn’t be. After all, you and your spouse made what was supposed to be a life-long commitment “til death do you part.” But “things” happen. Sometimes the “things” are within our control, i.e. extra-marital relationship, substance abuse, etc., but sometimes there are life changing events that are beyond anyone’s control, i.e. illness, loss of job, parent’s illness, etc. I am assuming that you have sought professional help from a qualified mental health professional and have tried to persuade your spouse to participate in marital counseling. Experienced marital therapists have told me that for a couple to “know” if the marital counseling is helpful, it is necessary to see the therapist once a week for four months.
1. You and Your Spouse Are Not Getting Younger. Divorce is never easy. The saddest divorces I have handled have been with couples where one or both of the parties have a serious health problem and/ are older than sixty-five. No one knows how long we are going to be on earth. But the longer that you and your spouse are unhappily living together the less time you both have to find happiness, whether it is with a new person or alone. Once you’ve decided to file for divorce, seek legal advice from an experienced divorce lawyer to prepare yourself for the process. Having a good divorce lawyer on your side may also help you help achieve a better outcome.
2. Holidays are for your children. Your children will always remember when their parents divorced. They do not need to associate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, etc. with their parent’s divorce. You have been unhappy a long time. Suck it up for a few more weeks. If you are seeking to get full custody of your kids, having an accomplished child custody lawyer on your side may improve your chances of getting favorable results.
3. Making a New Year’s resolution to get divorce is a task you can delegate to someone else. Most New Year’s resolutions require a significant effort on your part, i.e. losing weight, committing to being on time for appointments, etc,. A divorce is something you can hire someone to do.
4. You do not want to spend another holiday season pretending to be “merry” and “happy.” It is mentally (and physically) exhausting to appear “happy” to the outside world, when you are very sad and are constantly wishing that you were someplace else – anywhere than where you are right now
5. Your spouse deserves to be with someone that loves him/her. Although you may feel guilty about wanting to divorce your spouse and your friends and family may criticize your decision to divorce your spouse, you are actually doing your husband/wife a favor, so they will be able to meet someone else to share their life with who is committed to being the partner they deserve.
Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.