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5 More Reasons You Should Not Delay Getting a Divorce in 2022

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

The decision to file for divorce is never easy – and it shouldn’t be.  After all, you and your spouse made what was supposed to be a life-long commitment “til’ death do you part.”  But “things” happen.  Sometimes the things are within our control, i.e. extra-marital relationship, substance abuse, etc., but sometimes there are life changing events that are beyond anyone’s control, i.e. illness, loss of job, parent’s illness, etc. Whatever the reason may be, you may contact a divorce lawyer if you have decided that it’s time to end the marriage. Find an experienced divorce lawyer that can guide you every step of the way.

I am assuming that you have sought professional help from a qualified mental health professional and have tried to persuade your spouse to participate in marital counseling.  Experienced marital therapists have told me that for a couple to “know” if the marriage therapy is helpful, it is necessary to see the therapist once a week for four months.

  1. Your children are learning what marriage is like from yours.  This is particularly true if you have young children at home.  Do you want your children to have a marriage like yours?  Children have the “right” to be raised in a family with love, commitment and honesty.  Do you want your children to be treated by their future spouse, the way you are being treated?  The sooner that your children are no longer witnessing the hostile environment in your home, the better it will be for them in their future relationships.
  2. You will be more productive in your job and career, if you are not carrying the weight of being in an unhappy relationship.   It is very difficult to achieve your potential when most of your energy is being devoted to getting through to the next day.  Motivating yourself to work harder to acquire more financially is very difficult when mentally you are out of the marriage.  Who wants to earn more, when the likelihood is that whatever you earn will have to be shared with your current spouse?
  3. You are tired of making excuses to your friends and family as to why you are attending alone.  Holidays are full of parties and family dinners.  It is becoming harder and harder to explain to others that your spouse had “another commitment” when you do not even believe it.  Family members and close friends have “known” that “something” was not right in your marriage.  It will be a relief for you not to have to lie.
  4. You are tired of feeling obligated to attend work-related social events with your spouse when he/she asks.  In good times, being “the designated spouse” can be fun.  It can be a tremendous source of pleasure to be with someone you love very much in their work environment and see them achieve professional accolades.  But when you do not want to be married to your spouse and have little or no interest in the career or the people they work with, it can be torture.
  5. You are depressed at looking at your spouse in bed, or at the table and keep wishing you were somewhere else – anywhere.  All the magic has long gone.  Whenever you see pictures of you and your spouse in happier times, you can’t remember the feeling.  It is time to be proactive and get divorced.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

5 Reasons to Get Divorced in 2022

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

The decision to file for divorce is never easy – and it shouldn’t be. After all, you and your spouse made what was supposed to be a life-long commitment “til death do you part.” But “things” happen. Sometimes the “things” are within our control, i.e. extra-marital relationship, substance abuse, etc., but sometimes there are life changing events that are beyond anyone’s control, i.e. illness, loss of job, parent’s illness, etc. I am assuming that you have sought professional help from a qualified mental health professional and have tried to persuade your spouse to participate in marital counseling. Experienced marital therapists have told me that for a couple to “know” if the marital counseling is helpful, it is necessary to see the therapist once a week for four months.

1. You and Your Spouse Are Not Getting Younger. Divorce is never easy. The saddest divorces I have handled have been with couples where one or both of the parties have a serious health problem and/ are older than sixty-five. No one knows how long we are going to be on earth. But the longer that you and your spouse are unhappily living together the less time you both have to find happiness, whether it is with a new person or alone. Once you’ve decided to file for divorce, seek legal advice from an experienced divorce lawyer to prepare yourself for the process. Having a good divorce lawyer on your side may also help you help achieve a better outcome.

2. Holidays are for your children. Your children will always remember when their parents divorced. They do not need to associate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, etc. with their parent’s divorce. You have been unhappy a long time. Suck it up for a few more weeks. If you are seeking to get full custody of your kids, having an accomplished child custody lawyer on your side may improve your chances of getting favorable results.

3. Making a New Year’s resolution to get divorce is a task you can delegate to someone else. Most New Year’s resolutions require a significant effort on your part, i.e. losing weight, committing to being on time for appointments, etc,. A divorce is something you can hire someone to do.

4. You do not want to spend another holiday season pretending to be “merry” and “happy.” It is mentally (and physically) exhausting to appear “happy” to the outside world, when you are very sad and are constantly wishing that you were someplace else – anywhere than where you are right now

5. Your spouse deserves to be with someone that loves him/her. Although you may feel guilty about wanting to divorce your spouse and your friends and family may criticize your decision to divorce your spouse, you are actually doing your husband/wife a favor, so they will be able to meet someone else to share their life with who is committed to being the partner they deserve.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Five “Tricks” to make Halloween with your Kids a “Treat”—No Matter which Parent has Custody

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

Treating your children to a fun and stress-free Halloween should be a high priority—whether you or your ex have the kids on Halloween.

Many parenting plans do not delineate Halloween as a holiday or special day to be shared. This might have been intentional, or simply forgotten in the parenting plan.

If your parenting plan does not include Halloween, it is essential that you check the calendar to see whether you or your ex have the kids that day. But, most important is to keep your focus on the children and not on your ex.

Tip #1: Above all else, make your child’s safety a priority.

This should be a “no brainer,” but child safety can get overlooked if the focus is on your relationship with your ex instead of your child. Whether you are the custodial or non-custodial parent, communicate with your ex and know where your children will be trick or treating.

If your children are old enough trick or treating alone, make sure they bring a flashlight and cellphone in case of an emergency. Also, make sure they only trick or treat at the homes of people you trust.

Tip #2: Be considerate and offer some time or activity to your ex so that he/she will have an opportunity to enjoy the holiday with the kids.

Many children will feel sad about their other parent missing out on the fun. Also, keep in mind that next year may not be your turn to celebrate Halloween. A little generosity can go a very long way in improving your relationship with your ex. So be generous—your children will appreciate it.

Tip #3: Don’t ask your children whom they want to be with on Halloween.

Most children want to trick or treat with their friends. This is particularly important as the kids get older. Children also like to trick or treat in “their” neighborhood. If you have recently moved to a different area but are able to take the kids to their former neighborhood—do it, even if your ex’s friends reside there. Remember, it’s not about you!

Tip #4: Create new Halloween memories with your children.

If you didn’t have Halloween “get togethers” for your children and their friends in your pre-divorce life, this is a perfect new “tradition” to begin.

Depending on the age of your kids, it can be making Halloween cupcakes, cookies, and crafts, dressing up in costumes and entering a Halloween parade, or watching Halloween movies.

The important part is getting together and having fun with a new holiday tradition. This is not the time to compete with your ex over who can make the best costume.

Tip #5: Don’t let Halloween be a frightening holiday.

Do whatever it takes to avoid a conflict with your ex. This is not the day to bring up late child support payments. Don’t “forget” to pack your child’s Halloween costume. If you are in the presence of your ex—be civil and pleasant, even if you have to rehearse in front of a mirror. Your children will be grateful for many years.

Remember, if your parenting plan does not include Halloween or other important days of the year, you can modify it to address these issues. Having clear guidance from a family law and child support attorney could potentially alleviate this otherwise stressful situation.

To learn more or to discuss your options, we are here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Five Tips for Obtaining Life Insurance from Your Ex After Divorce

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

Separation agreements, or Final Orders in divorce and child support actions, commonly require spouses paying child support or alimony to maintain life insurance on themselves. Why? Because this provision ensures that such payments will continue after death.

Typically, a life insurance provision will require the paying spouse to maintain life insurance in an amount that covers his or her remaining financial obligations. A separation agreement may contain a provision similar to this one:

Defendant will obtain a collateral life insurance policy within thirty (30) days after the Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce is entered and will name Plaintiff as beneficiary to the extent of Defendant’s child support and/or alimony obligations as defined in this Agreement.

Notably, compliance with this provision occurs after the divorce is finalized. Therefore, it is critical you ensure your ex-spouse continues to comply with the provision by maintaining life insurance. Below are five tips for life insurance after divorce.

  1. Be Sure You are the Beneficiary. If your ex-spouse is court ordered to pay alimony and/or child support, read the separation agreement carefully to ensure he/she is required to name you as the life insurance policy’s beneficiary. This will guarantee your support in the event your ex dies. It is not enough simply to require your ex to maintain life insurance.
  2. Include a “Required Proof” Provision with a Specific Date for Compliance. There should be specific language in the agreement that requires your ex to provide annual proof that his or her policy is still in effect and is unencumbered by any debt. This will ensure that the premiums have been paid, the policy has not been canceled, and that you are still protected.
  3. Get a Release from your Ex to Contact the Insurance Company Directly. To avoid policy cancelation due to unpaid premiums, you can ask your divorce lawyer to draft a release form for your ex to sign. This will grant the insurance company permission to give you information about the policy, including if the premiums have been paid. This form should be attached to the Agreement as an exhibit, so there is no question as to whether the insurance company has permission from your ex to provide his/her insurance information.
  4. Obtain a First Charge against Ex’s Estate. If you are worried that your ex will fail to maintain life insurance, you can include a condition in your separation agreement where the unpaid premiums and financial obligations will be a first charge against your ex’s estate if he or she fails to maintain life insurance.
  5. Email Your Ex a Pre-Written Letter. Communicating with your ex can be emotional and uncomfortable. However, if you have a pre-written letter that requests proof of life insurance (as required by your agreement) you can simply forward the message in a quick, stress-free manner. You should send the email with a certified receipt to ensure that your ex received it.

The above tips are important. Not only do they ensure your ex complies with the life insurance provision in your Settlement Agreement or Final Order, but they also offer you peace of mind in your post-divorce life.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Getting Your Ex-Spouse to Pay for Medical Costs

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

THREE TIPS TO GET YOUR EX TO REIMBURSE YOU FOR OUT-OF-POCKET MEDICAL COSTS FOR YOUR CHILD

Your divorce or child support case has been finalized. Either the court has issued an Order or you and your ex have reached an agreement specifying a formula to divide out of pocket medical expenses.  But exactly what does a custodial parent have to do to be reimbursed for medical expenses for your child from your ex.

A typical provision in a separation agreement and child support order would contain a provision similar to this one:

The parties shall each pay one-half of the child’s reasonable and necessary medical and dental expenses that are not reimbursed by insurance. The party incurring an out of pocket cost for the child’s health care shall provide the other parent with a copy of the medical bill, receipt or statement no later than thirty (30) days after such cost is incurred and the other parent shall reimburse the parent who incurred the expense within thirty (30) days of presentation of such proof of payment.

Below are three tips to assist you in receiving payment from your ex.

  • Be Diligent About Tracking Your Child’s Medical Expenses. As soon as your case is finalized track your child’s medical expenses and continue to follow through for each and every expense.
  • Open or Designate a Credit Card to be Used Solely Your Child. Use this credit card to pay for any expenses directly benefiting your child. Do not use this credit card for your personal or household expenses.
  • Open a Checking Account that is Used Solely for Your Child. Use this bank account to pay for any expenses related to your child.  Deposit child support and any other monies given to you by your child’s parent.  Do not use this bank account for any purchases or services that are not related to your children.

It is essential that you are able to document every item that you are requesting to be reimbursed.  The simplest way is to have a credit card and a checking account that is used solely for your child’s needs.  By keeping your other household and personal expenses separate, you will not be providing information about your personal spending habits to your ex, if you are required to produce these documents in court or through discovery.  It will be also much easier to insure that you are not leaving out any items are eligible for reimbursement.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Five Reasons Not to Delay Filing for Divorce this Summer

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

     Recent studies show “divorces follow the seasons.” This phenomenon represents itself in a “twins peak” pattern, where divorce filings explode in March and August. That is, most divorces are initiated soon after the winter holidays and summer vacation.

     While the reasons behind this pattern may vary, there are some common explanations. For example, the winter holidays and summer vacations are special times of the year. They represent new beginnings and a fresh start. Unfortunately, however, the burdening stress arising from a broken relationship proves too heavy, and the idyllic, conjured images of a happy family life quickly fade.

     The decision to file for divorce is never easy—and it shouldn’t be. However, if you have come to terms with your decision, and know that divorce is best for you and your children, delaying the filing process may only make things more painful. So, if you’ve finally made up your mind, contact a divorce lawyer to get the ball rolling.

Below are five reasons you should not “follow the seasons”, and why you should think about filing for divorce this summer:

  1. Lawyers may have more time. Generally, lawyers are less busy in the summer months, which means your divorce lawyer can give you more attention and faster results.
  2. Stress–Free Holiday Season. By filing for divorce in the summer, there is a good possibility that your divorce will be finalized before the holiday season.
  3. “Test Driving” Parenting Plans. The summer is a great time to experiment with visitation schedules to figure out what works and what doesn’t work. Your children are on summer break, and that means both you and the children have time to adjust to your new lifestyles before the hectic school year begins. This will facilitate a smooth transition into the fall months.
  4. Complete the Divorcing Parents Seminar Early. The summer is a good time to take the Divorcing Parents Seminar, which is required in most jurisdictions. Generally, Divorcing Parents Seminars are about four hours.  You can complete the seminar and receive your certificate, even if you have not yet filed for divorce. Finishing this course early in the process not only prepares you psychologically, but also eases the divorce process.   
  5. Your workload is usually lighter. You, personally, may have more time to adjust and cope with your divorce and minimize the stress on your career. You will also most likely have more time to spend communicating with your divorce paralegal, which will lead to a better result.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Guardian Ad Litem

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

Q: How Does the Guardian Ad Litem Obtain the Information Needed to Make Recommendations to the Court?

The GAL must conduct a thorough investigation of all of the allegations each party has made and determine their validity and the impact of the allegations on the children.   A GAL is in many ways “the eyes and ears” of the court.  The GAL must review all documents available concerning the parents and the child which can have an impact on custody.  It is routine for the GAL to have each party sign a release to obtain all medical files.  This includes psychological files.

It is very common for a GAL to provide a questionnaire to each party at the beginning of their involvement.  Complete each item as best as you can and then have your attorney review it before sending to the GAL.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Guardian Ad Litem

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

What Information Does The Guardian Ad Litem Need?

Q: What does the GAL want to know about me and my children?

Generally, the GAL’s questionnaire will ask routine questions about your education and work history.  The GAL will want to know if you have ever been arrested, convicted of a crime, and if you have had any problems with alcohol or drugs. The GAL will also want to know about your marriage and how and when the relationship soured. 

          The GAL will want to know if any of your children have special needs.  They will  usually ask  how you disciplined the children prior to the separation. The GAL will want to know how your children perform in school and extra-curricular activities.  The GAL will inquire how the childcare responsibilities were handled prior to the separation and what is the current division of childcare responsibilities. 

When responding to each question it is most important to be truthful.  Far better for you (or your attorney) to be forthright about any unpleasant detail, than for the GAL to hear about it from your former partner or discover it themselves.  Keep in mind, that there are very few individuals that have lead unflawed lives – even the Judge and your GAL!

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Guardian Ad Litem

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

How is the Guardian Ad Litem Paid?

Q:      The judge ordered my spouse and I deposit $1000 into the court’s registry.  The Judge stated in his Order that at the end of the case, she would decide if either of us should receive payment from the other.  I do not think it is “fair” that I should have to pay for a Guardian that I do not feel is needed.

          If both parties are unable to pay the GAL’s fees, the Court may appoint a GAL who has agreed to work on the case as a volunteer or at a reduced rate. Most of the time, GAL’s charge on an hourly basis and both sides will be required to pay an initial retainer.  The Order for the GAL will specify how the GAL’s fees will be handled.  It is very common for the Judge at the end of the case, to decide that one party will pay more than the other of the GAL’s total fees.  If one party earns substantially more money than the other, the Judge will have the higher earning party contribute more to the GAL’s services than the other.  It is also possible, that if one side does not cooperate with the GAL and be forthcoming with information, the Court can “punish” that party and require that the uncooperative party pay more than the cooperative party.  Many judges will state in their initial Order appointing the GAL specific terms concerning the payments to the GAL.  A typical provision reads: “In the event that there is a hearing or mediation in this case, and the GAL is called as a witness by either party or requested to appear, all of the GAL’s fee due at that time will be paid in full before the GAL is required to attend.” Another common provision in the judge’s initial order is: “In the event a written report is necessary, all fees due at that time, and a deposit of the full retainer shall be paid in full prior to the GAL writing the report.”

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

Guardian Ad Litem

Published on by Ronne Kaplan

How is a Guardian Ad Litem Selected?

Q: I am getting a divorce. My husband is asking for primary custody, even though he has not been the “on the ground” parent. My husband’s lawyer requested  the judge to appoint a GAL.  The judge told both attorneys to suggest individuals they wanted to be the Guardian Ad Litem in my case and he would choose from those names.  The judge did not select the Guardian my lawyer requested.  The Guardian the judge selected is a member of the same church as my husband.  I am afraid that the Guardian will recommend that my husband have primary custody.  This is not fair.  What should I do?

          It is understandable that you are concerned that the Guardian could be more receptive to your husband than he/she is toward you.  However, experienced Guardians will not be influenced by facts that are not connected to the case.  In smaller cities and towns, it is very probable that Guardians know the parties in their cases.  Judges may prefer one Guardian over another for many legitimate reasons.  Some of the reasons could be that one Guardian may have a lower hourly rate or that the judge is more familiar with certain Guardians and wants to use someone he/she has experience working with. You need to put your feelings aside and do your best to develop a “connection” with the chosen Guardian.  Complaining about fairness will not accomplish anything productive.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.